With all of the chaos outside of our homes, it can be hard to visualize what we want to see for ourselves in the New Year. As a person who just moved across the country and still does not have her belongings with her, I feel like there has also been internal chaos for the last 6 months. Self-induced but there nonetheless.

One of the many reasons for the move was that I started envisioning the life I wanted and then looked at what needed to happen to get there. Like many of us through the pandemic, my priorities have shifted. I want more time with my family. I want to live a more active lifestyle. I want freedom around my work schedule. I want to be in a connected community.

When I looked at what I wanted I realized that my current life was not it. It was not a bad life it just was not what I wanted for myself. Most people won’t and shouldn’t pick and move across the country but for me, it allows me to have more of the life I want. With the freedom of being able to work from anywhere, I no longer was pinned to living in one place.

I encourage everyone to think about what life they want to be living. It is so easy to get caught up in our day-to-day and lose our priorities. What do you want to wake up thinking about? How do you want each day to end? Decide what your top priority is, and then you can evaluate if there are changes you can make to live those priorities.

I suspect to survive the last few years, many of us may have checked out. How else do you cope with perpetual political crises and a pandemic that seems like it may never end? You watch a lot of Netflix, or eat a lot of ice cream, or do something else to check out. No judgments, It is a survival part. However, the pandemic may seriously impact our lives for years to come. We get to make a choice to either stay checked out or try and reengage. I hope by examining what you want you can make some changes that will allow you to live a calmer life.

Wishing everyone a calm and safe 2022!!!

As a therapist I try to practice what I recommend to clients. As a human I struggle with these habits as much as anyone. I try to meditate every morning. Just a few minutes. I have apps on my Iphone that I use. The current one is Stop, Breathe, Think which evaluates how you are and then recommends three different meditations. Still I just wasn’t doing it every day. I would do it for a day or two  then miss. I was frustrated because it is just 10 minutes a day, how could I not get this in my day? I know how valuable that daily meditation is to a persons health and well being.

So I set up a self nag. I put a reminder into my Iphone and set it to go off at 8am everyday reminding me to meditate. If I don’t check it off it will continue reminding me all day long. So if I don’t find the time in the morning I come back to it in the evening. And while I am still not perfect in my practice I find that the reminder has increased the days I do find the time to meditate.

Everyone has to find the meditation technique that works for them. For me using a app that talks me through the meditation and reminding myself until I actually do it is what works for me. I would love to hear from you what you do to keep yourself committed to your mindfulness practice.

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I want to start this by saying I love my Iphone. I love Facebook. I feel like I have been able to stay more connected with some people because of Facebook. The reality is I wouldn’t be calling many of these people on the phone but I love to see pictures of their children and their lives. The reality is this is a false sense of connection. There is no vulnerability involved in posting our happy pictures on Facebook. And vulnerability is where connection really lies. However, vulnerability is really hard for most of us. It is far easier to be checking our phones than to say to someone I had a tough day today and it was really hard for me to get through it.

While we all seem to be craving connection at the same time our actions seem to indicate otherwise. We want to connect with our partners but then we check our email ten times during dinner. We have a magical moment and our first thought is “I have to post this on Facebook.”  How many times have you been doing something you enjoyed but also struggling not to look at your phone while doing it? We have become a society really uncomfortable with being in the moment and having our feelings.

I often wonder as I have the impulse to check my phone while waiting in line for something what did I do in line before cellphones? I imagine I just stood there but the concept seems so strange now. But it shouldn’t be. I should be able to stand five minutes in line and think about life or breathe or just let my mind wander. It isn’t instinct to do that anymore though. It is an effort. An effort that I think is worth it. I believe the more we check out the hard it is to stay present. So it is important to find ways to stay engaged in the world. What about talking to the person in line next to you? There is some connection and it would probably even feel good for both people.

I am finding ways to be less cell phone involved and more present. I would love to hear the things that work for you in the comments below.

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