I BELIEVE YOU

This is a really tough time for many women. Especially for women that have been sexually assaulted. The current hearings and status of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh have been extraordinarily painful for many women. Many women have felt assaulted themselves as they have watched people deny the extent of sexual assault and say that a woman making the accusation was incorrect in her memory. It creates an additional trauma to add to the trauma of the assault.

I have seen anger and sorrow expressed. I recently saw a post that simply asked why didn’t you tell? And there were at least twenty people that told their stories there. It was excruciating to read. I have seen women come forward with their stories and emotions and be told they are wrong or overreacting or that men are being persecuted.

It is hard to understand how this issue has become a partisan one. How we can’t separate these women’s pain from politics. It is hard to understand and witness the lack of empathy towards those brave women coming forward. I wish we lived in a kinder world. But right now we don’t. So here are a few suggestions to help those struggling right now.

  1. Find your tribe and use them. There are others out there who can and will support and believe you. Talk to them or be quiet with them but just allow yourself to find comfort with those who love you and know you.
  2. Consider not watching the news and limiting social media. Many women feel like they have to bear witness or be there to support others. That is great if you can do it. But if you can’t it is always okay to take a time out until you feel better equipped to do so.
  3. Consider counseling. You may have felt that you have dealt with this issue before. Or you may not really want to dig in and deal with it. Your choice. But sometimes meeting with a supportive therapist can help you sort through these things.
  4. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline. 800.656.HOPE (4673). They will connect with you a trained counselor and they can also direct you to resources in your local community.
  5. Up your self-care. Do whatever it is you do to take care of yourself. Make space for yourself. Be kind to yourself.

And please remember that many of us out here believe you and know that whatever it was that happened to you was not your fault.