You can love again-Coping with the Lost of a Pet
Last year my beloved cat was diagnosed with cancer. He was 13. I have had many cats over the years and I have loved them all but this one was was special to me. He was devoted to me. When I found I out he had cancer I was devastated. We made the decision to do chemo in pill form as the right treatment. Chemo for cats is different than for people as it’s goal is to extend life not save it. My guy lived 9 good months and had no side effects from the chemo. When we lost him I was numb. As a therapist I told myself that grief looks different for everyone but I wondered why I didn’t cry when I lost him.
I worried that I would never again have a cat as special as my Sammy. Fast forward a few months and one day I came home and said ” I need a kitten now!” We had talked about the timing of adding a new cat. There were some good reasons to wait for a bit. But I just hit the point where I knew I couldn’t wait anymore. The laws of the universe cooperated. We looked online and saw a little girl cat in San Francisco. We got up early the next day and went to SFSPCA with all the paperwork ready. As soon as I saw her I knew. I fell deeply in love with her instantly.
She has been with us for 2 weeks now and we are working on integrating her with the other cats. She has a bold little personality and is a super-duper lap cat. I didn’t think I could love a cat as much as Sammy but I do. It’s different and it doesn’t take away from the love I had from him-in fact I think it is because of him that I love her so much. She is filling a hole I had in my heart. It is hard to be sad when there is a kitten in the house.
Everyone experiences grief differently. Not everyone will get another pet. But for me having a new little girl has helped me heal from the loss of my boy.
I recently lost my little poo/pom named Spek. I had decided that I was not going to walk him much anymore because so many people in my old neighborhood had big scary dogs and were ho-hum about keeping them safely contained. However, it was a beautiful day so I thought it would be fine. Half way through our walk we were suddenly attacked by a Rottweiler. I saw her coming and picked Spekkie up and held him tightly to me but she was so strong that she pulled him out of my arms and threw him around while biting him, causing horrible damage. I feel so much guilt for not being strong enough to hold on to him and wish I had stuck to my belief that walking was just not safe in that neighborhood. I have since moved to a new home far away from that place and I feel that I want to rescue again but always have an excuse as to why it is not a good idea. Really, it is that my heart is broken and I miss my boy. One day though I know the right dog will pick me and all will be right with the world again.
I am so sorry to hear about Spek. What a tragedy. I hope the right dog will find you and bring you happiness soon.